One reason why office rage should be legal

Recently I saw a clip from a movie that centered on the idea of legalized crime without police intervention. Not that the idea is all that far-fetched but it was a curious one. Then while watching one of the GRIMM episodes of season two, Sergeant Wu made a comment about office rage. Oh yeah! An idea was born.

As I ferociously scribbled with unadulterated inspiration an image of what the Corporate Hood would look like, it occurred to me that out of this magnanimous chaos the blessedness of the short-term benefits: less stress, decreased gastrointestinal problems, reduced anxiety, and uninterrupted sleep. Now that sounds like the good life. Granted, in order to meet service benchmarks and facilitate organizational management, we would solicit the assistance of the National Guard or Navy Seal for law and order. I know, someone out there over the rainbow would say this is tragic and inhumane. Yeah, but in a self-centered, arrogant, self-absorbed god-like analysis, we might conclude the ends will justify the means.
So. Here. We. Go.

WARNING: Incorporating such tactics could get you killed or worse, fired from your job.

1. Inordinate use of descriptive and colorful expletives to get your points across during team meetings.
2. Cursing customers or terrorizing them by hanging up and calling back just for kicks and giggles.
3. Using the “birdie” as a definitive way of saying “no.”
4. Egging your boss’ office.
5. Looting the vending machine.
6. Trashing the coffee machine. (I would highly advise against this if the brands are Starbucks or Keurig)
7. Carjacking the CEO.
8. Vandalizing the bathroom. (Actually, this might be an improvement)
9. Stealing your co-worker’s lunch. (Of course this is nothing new)
10. Driving your car through the front door.

  1. *laughs* 10 is tops! Though…I do like the idea of vandalizing the bathroom…and maybe improving the situation…

  2. LOL No. 10? This topic sure got your goat. ^^

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