Posts Tagged ‘corporate america’

Greetings WP’ers!

I thought it needful and most excellent to start the year with something thought provoking, deep, profound, almost mind blowing but what is the fun in that? Well, not this post. That time will come.

As such I will be changing my schedule, AGAIN, to make room for other things. My blogging schedule is changed to the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month. If I am overwhelmed by the vicissitudes of life, it will be once a month. Last resort will until the subscription runs out.

Alright, enough with the serious stuff, let’s get to the important things that matter.

One of the things I have observed as an upward trend in Corporate America is a lack of training. Most major organizations cut corners in the name of technology and will hand the unsuspecting victim employee a manual and tell them to sit in an empty cubicle for almost eight hours a day with no access to a computer. Or, if they are less bureaucratic efficient, he/she can access online training with either no facilitator or one facilitator who is tasked to train 200 other employees across three regions in different time zones. By the end of the session, the student has to pass with an 80% or above using two hours worth of information of which 90% of it was not covered in class. And let us not forget if there is shadow training, the little lamb team member might be trained by three different people who do one job in three if not more different ways.

Gone are the days when training meant face to face interaction with a real live human being who actually knew their job.

It is disheartening to say that one of the reasons for a lack of excellence in Corporate America is because people have the “I am just doing what I was told” syndrome. Ah, yes! The good ole ethical dilemma. No in depth understanding. No sound reasoning or logic. Just  do what I am told.  Visual learning minus the acquisition of knowledge. Brainless. Mindless and numbing cubicle work.

In part I blame this corporate slothfulness on those who have the ability to incorporate good training curricula for adult learners. There is a need to create good, job specific lesson plans that are designed to optimize departmental efficiency. At the same time, the person who is paid to do a job is responsible to extract as much of the right knowledge so they can to do their job with excellence.

If you have experienced poor customer service, most likely it is tied to poor training. Or someone too lazy to screen during the interview process.

My name is Lady Cheetah and I approve this message.

 

 

Seriously, I had no idea going for TEFL/TESOL certification would be this….cumbersome. It is like going to school all over again except like a grown-up fast track version without the illusion of grandeur.  Maybe it is because I didn’t take out a school loan but paid cash instead. 

It is amazing how long it is taking me to write a simple, one sided blog post without being alarmed by subject and verb agreement, active or passive voice, verb tense, and such the like. Etc., etc., etc., in my Yul Brenner voice. For all you newbies that line was taken from The King & I.

Make it a great day WP Peeps!

I just wanted to say hello.

I can’t think of one thing to blog about and this goes totally against my Pharisaical tendency to look WordPress righteous. Yet, this feels so liberating and it does not feel lazy as I once thought.

I think my gift of sarcasm might have found a new outlet….hmmmm….

Have a great day in the Concrete Jungle and don’t hurt anybody!

If you have been selected to corrupt train the new victim employee, wait for at least three months before divulging office secrets.

someecards.com - Hey, new guy! Have a seat. Most people start their work day with a cup of coffee; I usually start my day with a cup of vodka.

As true as it may be, never allow this Freudian slip to happen.

someecards.com - Please explain how we hired a prize clown like you?

When that one work-a-holic refuses to go home asks the burning question that seemingly needs your immediate attention, kindly interrupt them and say:

someecards.com - Imagine, ten years from today I will still be in the same place if I believe all the corporate lies they fed me during my internship.

Then again, I can look at this career path from a totally different perspective.

someecards.com - Just think of your new cubicle as a practice coffin.

Do not let anyone lead you astray. We must have a dress code for the workplace. Otherwise, we have people coming to work making such ridiculous and inflammatory statements:

someecards.com - Of course this is appropriate for the workplace! Have you seen what everybody else is wearing????

Notwithstanding, those of us who have been “enlightened” should avoid passing judgment. We must be kind, gentle, patient, and tactfully instruct the wayward unto a path of corporate righteousness.

someecards.com - Not looking like a tramp is easy: First, put on some clothes. Then fire the deranged circus clown who does your makeup.

Finally, if all your efforts and pleas have fallen on deaf ears, remember, the next time:

someecards.com - I won't tell you that what you are wearing is inappropriate for the workplace, I'll just amend the employee manual.

The jeans in this video are pretty darn tight. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

To Your Co-Workers:

someecards.com - Sure, I'd love to do my job and yours, said no one ever!

To Your Manager:

someecards.com - We found the problem. You make some pretty stupid decisions.

To the Ignoramus:

someecards.com - I'm sorry to hear that you're still talking even though it's obvious that you don't know what you're talking about.

To Co-workers in other departments: